I’ll say it right off the bat: I don’t believe in long
distance relationships. If you live in the same city for a while, and
then one person has to move away and you stay long distance until you
can make new arrangements—fine. But, if you go away to another city,
state or country, meet someone for just a few days, and decide to try
and form a relationship around that after you get home, you might be
guilty of the following:
Being selfish
Some
people like their space. They don’t want to have to make sacrifices
for a relationship and dating someone long distance eliminates that
factor. Plan a weekend here and there to see them but other than that,
when you’re at home, you base your plans and your life around nobody
but yourself.
You don’t know how to balance
Maybe
you get too into relationships and having one in your town
disrupts your life. You end up shacking up with the person and
neglecting your friends, your family, your work—the rest of your life.
Dating someone long distance keeps them safely away from affecting your
love/life balance.
You don’t know how to get past
infatuation
When you go to see someone you’re dating
long distance, it’s like a mini vacation. It’s probably a weekend or
you both take work off so, you have no idea what the person is like
when they are stressed. You get to do fun, exciting things
like go out for meals, go dancing, go to museum—vacation type
things—that always create a spark. You don’t know if you’d still like
them if all you did was hang out on the couch all week. Essentially,
you put yourself in a constant state of infatuation, where you don’t
really get to know someone. That could be because you’re
afraid to get there because you might get bored of them, or them of
you.
You’re not comfortable with who you are
You
can pretend to be somebody else entirely when you’re dating somebody
long distance. If you go visit them, you can put on a whole show with a
different personality. Nobody you know is around to say, “Wait a
minute…that’s not you!”
You’re not happy
where you are
You might just be unhappy in your own
circumstances. You may not like the town you live in, or your job, or
your living situation. You might just be looking for somewhere to
escape to on a regular basis.
You won’t ask
“what’s wrong with me?”
All in all, dating someone long
distance allows you to live in a fantasy land. All dynamics of a real,
grownup relationship are removed from it. It’s easy, and if there is
anything wrong with you, it takes a loooong time for those
issues to pop up if you’re only seeing someone every few weeks, and
it’s under vacation-type circumstances. If you in fact seek out a
long distance relationship, you may just be doing whatever you can to
not face the mirror and ask, “What is wrong with me?”
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