Stop Giving Boyfriends Husband Privileges

It was a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, I went with a friend to his girlfriend's place. The lady was in the kitchen preparing an elaborate meal for us. I imagined she prepared the dish slowly, paying attention to all ingredients carefully, sampling each dish to make sure they were just right and smiling anxiously every step of the way. As she prepared this elaborate meal, she must have been nervous and anxious about what we would say. She must have anticipated a positive reaction that would trigger an even more positive reaction that would eventually lead us concluding that she is a wife material.

However, the outcome was different.

We enjoyed the meal, but shortly after, we left and they have never spoken a word to each other since then. This I got to know when I asked my friend about her couple of months latter. As I recall that relationship, and some of the things that transpired in relationships, I realized that many women give the men they are involve with privileges that should have been for their husband, which led me to ask myself why do women do that? What motivates a woman to cook elaborate meal for the man who were only their boyfriends? I found the answers to my questions when I started talking to ladies about what is right to do while dating. I realized most women give their boyfriends husband privileges because they are trying to prove to them that they are wife materials. They do this because they don’t see the value of being a single woman, and they don’t know what it really mean to be a wife.

They don’t see the value in being a single woman because they focus more on “Marriage Dreams” rather than the relationship realities. Not only do they focused more on marriage dreams, but they also focus on all of their friends who are engaged, married or in promising relationships. They want the same things their friends have with their relationships, so they figure if they cook and cook for their boyfriends, they would see their wifely potential, they would propose and their dream would be reality. Gal you are wrong!

The more you cook for your boyfriends, the less time you have for other. Decide now to shift your personal focus. When you shift your focus you will start to find purpose in being single and realized that you do not have to give your boyfriends husband privileges, but give them who you are internally as a woman and that’s better than any home cooked meal or elaborate gift.

Learn to be yourself and allow a man to see you for who you are and not what you could do or give. You need to learn what it mean to be a wife. For me and that of course is my personal opinion, to be a wife means more than cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc. It means to be wise, have a noble character, have strength and dignity, etc. and these qualities come from within. Also on the journey of learning and reflection you need to learned that just because a man (boyfriend) has husband potential, it does not mean that he is your husband, and you do not have to treat him as such. Another thing you should realize is that if you give your boyfriend husband privileges, you wouldn’t have much to look forward to if and when you get married!

Now I’m not saying that boyfriends don’t deserve special treatment, but I am saying that there should be standards and boundaries set in place and maintain on what you as girlfriends give to boyfriends. Many times out of desperation and fear of loneliness, women (girlfriends) lead themselves to believe that they must roll out the red carpet for men (boyfriends) who have husband potential.
Some women believe if they do this then men will see their wifely qualities and commit to them in marriage, and sadly enough, some of them simply settle for a verbal/cohabitation commitment. The reality is until both girlfriends and boyfriends realize that the purpose of being a girlfriend or boyfriend (dating) is to assess someone’s character on a general level for the possibility of engaging in a meaningful, long term relationship, friendship or distant association that could lead to marriage, girlfriends will continue to give boyfriends husband privileges, and boyfriends will continue to indulge, and can you blame them! It’s like the old saying goes, why buy the cow when…